Something To Lose.Is this all I am to you?Just something to lose?Someone to hurt?To hit and abuse?Not physicallyFor that would leave marksNot even mentallyYou go straight for the heartLike a waterfall cascadingIt won't ever stopI'll be here still waitingOr so I once thoughtI can never fight this feelingBut I can't help that it's hereMaybe it'd be bestIf I could just disappear...
Questions.Questions.Nobody has the answersBut everybody has the Y’s.Speculations of a faultless green pasture,Based on a line of best fit that was drawn to lie.The solution is a sequence of random numbers and dates.In addition to a complicated sum of love, grief, fear and hate.Which form a unique equation that can never be revealed.It’s the only bit of ignorance that still remains concealed.Even though we may feel defenseless.The possibilities are endless.The opportunities are relentless.Opinions become senselessAnd still we lie restless.Attempting to solve the unsolvableAnd control the uncontrollable.To know the unknowable.Kela Lewis-Morin
The Price To Be AliveI never did look, so I never did question,Your riddled with guilt and unspoken confessions.Making the effort to push on mile after mile,Feeling your knife in my back all the while!I had always thought that you were a part of me!Now I can't stand the thought of you and I'll never be sorry.I still just can't believe I let you happen to me!The thoughts are so maddening and chip away at my sanity...When you told me I was nothing time itself seemed to have frozen,And when it finally thawed I found myself somehow more broken!The pain is so hard to stop; it keeps coming in stronger waves...I fell down from the very top and right into my open grave!And you saved me?! Just to break me again?!?!Why couldn't you let this go so this could finally end?!I'm so tired of all the thoughts and all the voices in my head!I hate the whispered words that should never have been said!You couldn't have really meant it when you wished that I was dead!I've fallen to the floor
I Ami am a mechaa liarof emotionsa fighterinsiderabiderof my own truthinsiderprovidera tigerthe one deep inside truthso loosethe proofthe one you thought you knewa champthe damnthe one that has to scrama framethe painthe melted dark rainthe shamethe gainthe one with words of bangthe one you love to breakfeeling away from youI am safe
True FearI sit and watch as my happiness runs around meI look down tears begin to form under my eyesthey spill on to the floor my happiness stopsand comes to my side i pick it up and throw itit lands across the room it falls to the floor hurtI feel a smile come to my face a sinister smilei get up and look at the happiness lay thereemotionless i laugh it tries to get up but it knowsit's been defeated I walk away i talk to myself " Iwill never need that rotten thing no now that ivegot hate" i walk only stopping when i reach the windowI look down and on the window's edge I goI sit watching as the world turns dark, childrenbecoming monsters adults ready to leave thisplace this world of hate and torror I begin to laugh"this place is a bitter world always being taken overby the things we always push away" I jump down talkingto the air "the one true thing to fear... Is the fear of beingtaken over" and down i fall untill my emotionless bodylays on the ground leaving this place of ter
Suicide or Tea?Should I kill myself or have a cup of tea?I decide on the latter and I'm not sure why. Probably because I can. Life is a never-ending scroll of be-goods, be-happies, be-in-controls, be-okays, be-strongs and be-appreciatives. So what's another day?Just another day closer to death.Still, life seems incredibly long, don't you think? So long, it's hard to see the end and nearly impossible to touch even with a knife in my hand that could easily skewer my heart, make it squirm and still like a dying nightingale sealing its death with a pathetic squeal of almost-song.Life is pain and people in pain are a pain in the ass. Perhaps occasionally or perhaps frequently, they think "Why not just kill myself? Life is hell, anyway. No hell after life could be worse than this."But they're wrong. The worst is never the worst because things can always get worse and maybe that's why I decided to stick with the chamomile tea. That or I feel tea-sipping is reason to live.Probably.My per